I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
