I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
