So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
