It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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