I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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