i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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