dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Me too!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
