I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone says I win the strip club
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
