I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
