Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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