There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
