How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
