when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
