I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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