drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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