We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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