I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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