let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
