So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
