Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
