I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
