i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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