You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
