this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need moral support for this bender
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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