Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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