Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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