Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
