is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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