her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
