I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
