a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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