oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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