u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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