I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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