This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
