So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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