i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
