Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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