I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Panties = found
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
