I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
