In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
