Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
