its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
