My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
