you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
