how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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