I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
