dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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