i already hear my dad disowning me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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