what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
