The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
